What's wrong with VD (Valentines Day)?
Updated: Feb 14
Well of course everything is wrong with VD i.e., venereal disease as it used to be called back in the day but I’m talking about VALENTINE’S DAY!
As a 50plus single woman of several years standing, it’s an annual reminder that I haven’t got my own man, partner, boyfriend significant other, beau – call it what you will – I’m still alone; why haven’t I got a man and what’s wrong with me? It’s a period of self-doubt, wishful thinking as I see women walking with their bouquet of flowers with a smug smile on their faces … thank goodness for lockdown I say. I expect my insensitive friends to tell me how wonderful their partners are and oh look what I got or where I went… haha thank goodness for lockdown.
I remember an occasion when I had left work very late on Valentine’s Day (to avoid the sickly romantic atmosphere that I wasn’t part of) and there was a big bouquet of red roses on the flower stand at Temple station being sold at half price and yes I did … I bought them for myself... well as the saying goes "I'm worth it". I was now that woman with the broad grin and I accepted the smiles and questions from strangers on the tube and at Victoria station with grace and gaiety; huh little did they know! I knew I was in a seriously bad way when, that night, I was watching one of the numerous romantic comedies on TV, flowers to my right a Ferrero Rocher box on my lap and a glass full of wine in my hand and I found myself involuntarily leaning in for a kiss with Hugh Grant - gee that was a low point!
It’s a time when I reflect on the numerous occasions I have asked my single friends if they know any decent guys who they could introduce me to and they laugh or chuckle and tell me that their male friends are either happily settled, divorced and off women, dogs (their word not mine) or too eccentric. Secretly I wonder how they would describe me and if that’s the real reason for not introducing me to their besties.
I cannot seem to get through to them that I am serious. In some culture's, people arrange successful introductions as a matter of course, get married and mostly stay married.
Please don’t tell me that Valentines is to show your love for family and friends too cos I don’t want to hear it!
"Misery loves company", so the saying goes; so, it’s a time to call my single buddies and ask why it’s soooooo difficult to meet a decent man and let’s pray that this time next year our fortunes turnaround. Interestingly, single men are saying the exact same thing – frankly, I just don’t get what’s going on.
In truth, as I enter my tenth year of being a spinster (the politically correct word being singledom) the negative emotions regarding my situation have abated. I’ve accepted my friends and family’s view that I’m too picky to meet my mate, albeit I don’t agree lol … but all for a quiet life.
I mean fellas – Is it wrong or too picky to want a man who:
· I find attractive and who is attracted to me?
· I can have an effortless conversation with?
· is decent, considerate, kind and true?
· is 5ft 10 and over (it used to be 6ft so don’t tell me I’m not flexible)?
· has at least size 10 feet?
· has a good pension or equivalent for his retirement?
· has at least £350k equity in his property or access to those funds? (We'll have to buy a home right and "ain't nothing going on but the rent" as the late Gwen Guthrie's song goes)
· can drive and has his own vehicle?
· Is not an atheist?
Don’t get me wrong I’m bringing alooooot to the party too; although as my father used to say when I was a child “self-praise is no recommendation!“
What’s on your list for your ideal mate … we like and want what we like and want, right?
Do you disagree with me? Am I destined to single life to the day I die? What do you think I should strike off my list to increase my chances and why?
Hey, Valentine Day fast approaches – let’s be honest – every day should be special and a time to show your significant other in little ways or grand gestures that you love them.
The pandemic has taught us to appreciate the little things – being in love is a big thing, it’s precious - hold onto it, nurture, grow and celebrate it and give thanks that you have a special someone in your life. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!